Addicted.

Happy 2018!

Today I want to touch on a personal topic - addictions.  This isn’t going to be a shocking reveal about drugs or anything like that.  But I do want to talk about an addiction I’ve been struggling with for a long time – shopping.

When I was younger, my parents had a very “be happy with what you have” attitude towards life, but I always wanted more.  I wanted to keep up with the lifestyle that I thought was cool – a lifestyle that involved eating out, wearing the most in style attire, and spending money without a care.  Once I got old enough to have my own job, I began to live this dream life.  In university I spent money carelessly on food on a daily basis, and I shopped at least once per week in order to keep up with the trends.

My spending only really got out of hand within the last year.  I don’t know what triggered it – it is likely related to stress.  This past year, I struggled with spending in a way that I am really too embarrassed to share.  But when I self-reflected on my behaviour, I knew it was time to change.

For me, spending money is not about want, it’s now about need.  I feel like making purchases fills some kind of void, one that I need to fill with something else.  It’s the “something else” that I’m struggling with though.  I don’t really know what to do.

The purpose of this post is really to just share that I’m struggling with you all.  It’s quite personal, so I know that putting this out there is a bit of a risk, but I’m willing to do it.  It’s time to change, and not because it’s a New Year.  It’s time to change because if I don’t, I don’t know where I’ll end up.

Xoxo, Jayy.