Scared Part II.

Thursday, January 28, 2016

I'm shaking.

At the beginning of this month, I talked about pushing myself out of my comfort zone, and trying something different.  I have been preparing to do just that, not by writing an academic article, but by sharing something very important to me on this blog starting February first.  I thought I would share part of it on my Tumblr blog as a trial run, and so far two people have commented saying that they were touched by it.

And now I'm shaking, because I am reminded of two things:

1. I am not alone.  I do not feel the way I feel alone, I do not face the challenges I face alone.  Other people feel the same way.  And that is making me emotional.

2. By sharing myself with others, I can at the very least remind them that they are not alone either.  And that makes me emotional, because that means I matter.  The things I do, the things I say, they matter.  And that is also making me emotional.

Whenever I share personal stories or feelings, my entire body begins to shake.  I don't know what it is - probably anxiety taking over.  But right now, I am also happy.  And anxious.  And scared.  I am about to push myself out of my comfort zone, and do something I would have never dreamed of doing a month ago.

It's coming.  February first.  I hope you like it.

Cheers to shaking.
Cheers to breaking outside of the box.
Cheers to me calming down enough to be able to sleep.

- xoxo, Jayy

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