[Un]Inspired.

Monday, September 25, 2017

I’m back to blogging for a bit!  Why?  I’m feeling inspired … or uninspired I suppose.  Funny that this is what brings me back to writing, huh?

Lately, circumstances have had me questioning what the hell I’m doing with my life.  I did all the things I was supposed to – get two degrees, get a full-time job, buy a car, save for my own place … but that doesn’t seem to be enough.  Every day I wake up and head out into the world, trying to be optimistic, only to get slapped in the face by some harsh version of reality that tells me that I’m not good enough.

I think that in some twisted way, my brain is telling me that it's time for a change.  And I can definitely see that being true - things have been stagnant (or "stable" as they call it) for too long now.  Two years is a long time to be in a fairly consistent place, and I just feel that the growth is not there.  

Regardless of the reason why, I can tell you that I am most definitely spiraling.  
  

I’m not going to get into details, I feel like that would be a poor idea on my part.  But what I will say is this: I will not go down without a fight this time around.  I'm sure that in a month or two I'll be blogging from the depths of depression.  But this time I refuse to slide into my seasonal dance with the devil.  This is a crucial point in my life, and I want to make some changes. 

So, here we are.  On the brink of another October, heading towards what seems like it will be a very dramatic winter.

Here we go.

xoxo, Jayy

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