Something More Than Beautiful (Day 44).

When I was younger, I was reasonably obsessed with the idea of beauty.  I say reasonably because 
  1. It's no secret that (unfortunately) many little girls are obsessed with physical appearance in yesterdays' and todays' society, for a variety of reasons, and
  2. I was constantly being mistaken for a boy.
Regardless.

 I associated my ability to be romantically loved with my physical appearance.  No boys had crushes on me growing up, kids thought I was kind of strange looking, I thought I would be alone forever.  And for my childhood self, that was the end of the world.

I'm currently 25, and currently single.  I still struggle with "beauty", however it's no longer at the forefront of my mind.  I became something so much more than beautiful in my 25 years of life, and I'm not afraid to say it.  I became confident (sometimes), intelligent, empathetic, passionate, hard-working, and sometimes even conventionally attractive. My potential has exploded past the limitations of what society has expected me to become. My skills and passions don't just exist, they are useful and used.  I am not a pretty woman on a shelf, waiting to be picked and wed.  I am more than some man's smart wife.    I am my own.  

I thought I knew what it meant to love and accept myself.  But today I can say with certainty that I have surpassed what I thought was possible.  I can look myself in the eye and know that I am loved in the best way - by my self.

xoxo, Jayy

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